The Mummy

The Mummy, starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz was apparently based on the classic 1932 film by the same name. The film begins magnificently; we are treated to a stunning view of an ancient Egyptian city which instantly indicates that this film is going to be a special-effects masterpiece. We witness how, 3000 years ago, Imhotep, High priest of Osiris fell in love with the Pharoe's mistress, Anck-Su-Namun, and how they murdered him when he caught them together. We watch as Imhotep is arrested, mummified alive and shut in a tomb, with hundreds of Scarab beetles. This part of the film is wonderful; the set design and city architecture is amazing, and I was all set for an entertaining couple of hours. Imagine my disappointment as the film moved forward to the nineteen twenties, and turned into a complete farce. Maybe I missed the point entirely, but because the beginning of the film was serious, I was expecting the rest of it to be serious too. If I could sum it up in one word, that word would be silly. No amount of special effects can save a film with a dialogue as terrible as this. No amount of exciting music and action can make the actors seem like real people if they make stupid jokes every step of the way, and say things like "Oh my God, it's a sarcophagus." I mean, come on, if you were stuck in a dark tomb surrounded by zombie-like monsters who were about to tear your face off, would you joke about it? If so, I assume you would at least try to make it funny.

There are scenes in this film where people are being shot at, or chased by millions of insects, and they're wasting their time making jokes, and the jokes are not even funny. I think I heard laughter in the cinema about 4 times in the whole film. The most disturbing thing was that I found myself unable to care about any of the characters. They were so superficial that I felt nothing for them, and that ruined it for me. In fact when the leading lady was about to be devoured by Imhotep's mummified girlfriend, I found myself hoping she wouldn't be rescued in time, because then there would be some more fantastic special effects to watch.

The characters in The Mummy are so casual, like they do this kind of thing every day and it's no big deal. You know, like while I was on the way home from the pub I was attacked by a mummy and it gouged my friend's eyes out. The whole thing plays like a kid's cartoon, in fact, I was reminded of the daft series "Scoobydoo where are you" which I used to love when I was seven years old. There's even a bit in it where someone loses their glasses and can't find them again, and they're crawling around on all fours, just like what used to happen every week in Scoobydoo.

The film's only redeeming factor is it's outstanding special effects which were done by ILM. If you like computer graphics and you're interested in ancient Egypt, perhaps this is a film that you might enjoy, but all in all, I'd say you have to be under fourteen years old to put up with two hours of this twaddle.