Dogma

Dogma begins with an apology to all those who will be offended by it, and that's probably a good thing because this film is seriously offensive, and I don't just mean if you're religious. I've seen many, many films that contain swearing, but this one really takes the biscuit. One of the characters, Jay, swears almost constantly, and quite frankly it gets a bit tiresome listening to him. On the other hand, the film is so obviously not to be taken seriously that to actually be offended by it would be quite pointless. So leave your religious convictions at home, sit back, and enjoy one of the zaniest films so far this year.

The premise is simple enough. Two renegade fallen angels, Loki, played by Matt Damon, and Bartleby, played by Ben Affleck, are searching for a way out of everlasting exile in Wisconsin. The discover a loophole in church dogma that will allow them to re-enter Heaven if they pass under a particular archway in a particular church in New Jersey. The only problem is, that in doing so, they will also negate all of reality, and the universe will cease to exist. An ordinary woman named Bethany is visited in the night by a seraphim called Metatron, who is the "voice of God", God's real voice being too powerful for mere mortals to withstand. Of course, God's messenger is British, and he takes the human form of Alan Rickman. Bethany's task is to go to New Jersey and prevent the angels from doing the deadly deed. With the help of a couple of prophets, Jay and Silent Bob, she begins her journey. Along the way she meets several other characters, among them Serendipity, a muse, and a monster made out of human faeces. How charming.

According to the film, there was a 13th apostle who was left out of the Bible because he was black. He is Rufus, played by Chris Rock, who is dead (but not undead) and falls from the sky to help Bethany complete her task. He tells how in fact, Christ himself was black, not white as portrayed in all the pictures and crucifixes. Well, I always thought that Christ probably had dark skin seeing as he was born in the Middle East, but hey.

Now then. All those who are not dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears at this point. The best part of Dogma is at the end when we actually meet God herself. Yes, she's a woman, or at least she has taken the human female form, namely that of Alana Morrisette, who plays the part brilliantly. This is the God that I believe in, a beautiful, compassionate, childlike being who is always ready to listen, but plays in the flowers when not needed. This image of God will no doubt offend those people who like to think of God as an angry old man.

Although Dogma is silly and a bit annoying in places, it's worth seeing for the 'God' scenes and Alan Rickman's interesting performance as Metatron.